Good Friday

The Way of the Cross

Some of us stay at the cross,
Some of us wait at the tomb,
Quickened and raised with Christ
Yet lingering still in the gloom.

Some of us ‘bide at the Passover feast
With Pentecost all unknown,
The triumphs of grace in the heavenly place
That our Lord has made His own.

If the Christ who died had stopped at the cross,
His work had been incomplete.
If the Christ who was buried had stayed in the tomb,
He had only known defeat,

But the way of the cross never stops at the cross
And the way of the tomb leads on
To victorious grace in the heavenly place
Where the risen Lord has gone.

Annie Johnson Flint

First of all, I apologise again for the late message, been in and out of the hospital for checkups regarding my anemia for the past few weeks. Been struggling with this sickness of mine for 2 whole years, till date have not really found a real reason behind the problem but I will continue to have faith in God and be patient with him as I believe that although physical healing is important, but I believe that the healing of the mind and spirit is of greater priority to him.

Thinking back, it was on the Good Friday 2 years ago where I decided to raise up my hands at TCT at Bukit Merah during the Good Friday Program to receive the Lord. Since then, I have faced many problems in my NS life, with my superiors, with my health, with my family and I had to change houses due to financial issues in the family. To say the truth, I really struggled with the problems I had at that time. At that period, I always told myself that it was a test that the Lord was putting me through to test my character and he was showing me that there are some things in life that cannot be controlled by my own free will. No matter how well I perform at work or in school, no matter how hard I worked to maintain my health, there are things in life that are planned by God that may not go your way and I have learnt to accept that during my ordeal during that period but I think I would share a bit about my own testimony in posts to come.

Now, I'll just focus on today itself.

Today, I went down to my spiritual father, Chris's, place to celebrate Good Friday.

Firstly, we started of with some icebreaker games to get to know each other better. I have to thank Nat ( not sure whether its the correct way to spell it), Annabelle and Leonard for the preparations.

After that, we watched a japanese movie called " Jesus is my Boss".

The show was about the true life story of a man called Hiroyuki Suzuki.

About Hiroyuki Suzuki:

Born in Osaka, Japan in 1955, Suzuki became a member of the Yakuza, Japan's organized crime groups, at the age of 17. With the tattoos of carps and mythical beasts all over his upper body and conspicuously missing pinkie fingers, he was involved in hoodlumism for the better part of two decades.

In 1989, a potentially fatal error led him to flee for his life from more than 5,000 Yakuza members, including his fellow brothers. He was in constant fear of being killed, and living as a fugitive completely wore him out. In the following year, with the support of his Korean wife's prayers, he repented to God and joined a church in Tokyo.

In 1992, Suzuki along with a handful of peer Yakuza converts led a six-month evangelical march throughout Japan, lugging a huge wooden cross. Similar walking tours took place in South Korea and Hawaii, which eventually developed into Mission Barabbas, a missionary group organized by Suzuki and other Yakuza converts.

Suzuki gained enough attention to earn a speaking engagement at the President's Prayer Breakfast at the White House in 1998, along with President Bill Clinton and the Rev. Billy Graham, which generated extensive media coverage internationally.

The 49-year-old convert is currently a pastor of the Siloam Christ Church in Chiba, Japan, and continues to deliver his life story and the Gospel of Jesus to various non-Christian and charity groups all over the globe.

Suzuki has authored memoirs and self-help publications in Japan, including "Anyone Can Start Over" (Asuka-Shinsha, 2001), "Beloved, Forgiven" (Raiin Shuppan, 2000), "The Tattooed Christian" (Waseda Shuppan, 1998), and "How To Start Over From Living Below The Breadline: A Memoir by the Tattooed Pastor" (Kodansha, 2002).

What was also added in the movie was about the reconcilation of the family between him and his wife at the end and the people he touched not because of what he has done but what God has done to turn his life 360 degrees around.

After the show, I heard 2 testimonies about my brother Saysern and Annabelle on similar works of God in their lives.

As I heard the testimonies, I began to ponder about my personal issues too. I believe that God is in fact changing my life slowly. I never really had a great relationship with my parents and my siblings in my life. My dad and mum were always at loggerheads at each other regarding lifestyle differences and financial issues. They always used the children as a reason why they do not divorce. Initially, I was sad and angry at such remarks when I was younger. But as time pass, I grew numb and emotionless to such remarks and my parents. Like what Annabelle mentioned, the worst thing that can happen to a person is the numbing of the emotions. After the encounter weekend, I pray that my heart will never be hardened like that again that I no longer feel any emotions to people around me or worse, to myself.

During that period when I was growing up as a teenager, I always felt resentment towards my brother for not really being there for me when I needed a listening ear in the family as my sister was too young and my parents were juist impossible to talk to (I'm sure some of you think the same way too). I never really had a great relationship with my brother as I felt that he was too distant, busy with his church (another reason why I did not join the church earlier), always taking care of his cell members before the family. Basically, he was never there when I needed him the most till the point that I just treated him to be non-exsistent in the family. There was this sense of jealousy as well as my mum would compare me with my brother with him always being superior in results and in physical fitness ( I used to be overweight and would pant after running 400m). So even now, I do not want my sister to go through the same situation I did ( I hope not as now she has her spiritual family behind her) and I always try my best to just be there for her when she needs me the most.

But I sense that God is slowly showing me the reconcilation of the family through him. My relationship with my brother is improving as now I am spending more time with him and I'm starting to understand more about the reponsibilities and problems he too was facing at that time as I juggle with work, my personal hobbies, church, family, my health and soon to come, studies in the NUS. But God has been good and I can see my relationship with my brother improving by the day.

For my parents, I no longer feel resentment towards them but rather I start to appreciate them more in my life and my parents seldom quarrel with each other anymore. In a way, there is more peace and quiet in the family but in another aspect, I fear it is the numbing of the emotions for each other after so many years of quarrelling. But I'll continue to pray and hope that God will do miricles in theirs lives just like what he did for the yazuka and his wife in the movie.

As I close my post for the day, I pray that every Good Friday I will be remembered of what God did on the cross for me and that he keeps my heart soft and never allow them to harden and be emotionless to the people around me again.

Eph 6:10-20 Finally, be strengthened in the Lord and in the strength of his power. Clothe yourselves with the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual force of evil in the heavens. For this reason, take up the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand your ground on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand. Stand firm therefore, by fastening the belt of truth around your waist, by putting on the breastplate of righteousness, by fitting your feet with the preparation that comes from the good news of peace, and in all of this, by taking up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation and the swordof the Spirit, which is the word of God. With every prayer and petition, pray at all times in the Spirit, and to this end be alert, with all perseverance and requests for all the saints. Pray for me also, that I may be given the message when I begin to speak – that I may confidently make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may be able to speak boldly as I ought to speak.