The Harvest

"Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again."- Luke 6:38

Give and it will be given unto you. During the retreat at Dad's place last week, he was wearing a shirt from 1995, which was the year of harvest.

For the same measure that you give, it shall be given unto you. As I prepare myself to enter the 100K challenge to bless people. I pray that the seeds of life and blessings that I sow into the people will bear fruit for the harvest. The fruit that I sow may not be seen or known by me but by the Father above.

Without waving, let us hold tightly to the faith that we say we have, for the lord can be trusted to keep his promise.- Hebrews 10:23

Last week, I have been busy going to the hospital as Victor had a high fever and was hospitalised. During the time, I went up to help pray for some of the patients there. One of the patients was Victor's friend who wished to be known by Ong.

He was diagnosed with leukemia 2 years back and has been in and out of the hospital for 2 years now. Although his facial expressions was happy, I could sense that deep down inside, there was great insecurity for his future and finances to carry on his treatment. To him, he was trying his best to be happy and live each day to his fullest since the future seems hopeless to him.

I pray that my time and prayers for him would plant a seed of security and of a future for him even if the future seems bleak as the Lord's plans for him is of good and not of disaster, for a future and for hope.

I believe in the lord that this seed of hope planted in him will continue to grow till the harvest when he will become truely joyful as he knows that the future for him is not bleak but shining brightly for the Lord.

Until then, I pray that I will be strengthened by the Lord's glorious power so that I will have all the patience and endurance I need and I will be filled with joy to continue watering and tending to Word I've planted into peoples' lives till the harvest comes.

“If the Lord bid me fly, I should trust Him for the wings.” John Wesley

Battlefield 2007- Day 1

Hudson Taylor

Missionary statesman Hudson Taylor had complete trust in God’s faithfulness. In his journal he wrote:

Our heavenly Father is a very experienced One. He knows very well that His children wake up with a good appetite every morning… He sustained 3 million Israelites in the wilderness for 40 years. We do not expect He will send 3 million missionaries to China; but if He did, He would have ample means to sustain them all… Depend on it, God’s work done in God’s way will never lack God’s supply.

Our Daily Bread, May 16, 1992

Yesterday, I was reminded of God's providence for the people in Egypt. Today, I was reminded that God's work done in his way will never lack his supply.

The main fight for today was going to be the preparation of starch in the afternoon for the night walk that night. Logistics was going to be a big headache. We had to prepare at least 4 pails of starch for the night walk with just 3 kettles and just a few people. The worst thing was that we did not have a car to bring the equipment to Touch Centre to make the starch.

We had to make the starch by about 5pm to ensure that the starch would cool down for the walk in the night.

So at about 3, we made off for Touch Centre carrying all the pails to touch centre to make the starch but when we reached there, to our horror, we realised that we missed out on the most important part of the plan. THE STARCH!!!

Immediately, I got a trolley from NTUC and we ran all the way back to campsite as by now, we were really in a rush for time. The distance back to campsite was about a 20 min run from Touch Centre. I was really impressed by the dedication Shawn had as he ran all the way back with the trolley. But even then, by the time, we started on the starch, it was already about 4pm.

However, as we were making the starch, we came upon a problem.

No matter how we tried, we could not produce the transloosen glue that Julee wanted for the night walk. It was getting late and it was kind of frustrating as no matter how hot the water was or how much flour we used, we just could not get it. Eventually, we had to make do with the pastey white 'starch' we had.

Thank God that we did not have to transport the pails of hot paste back to the campsite by NTUC trolley again as Nick came to our rescue with his car and he helped to move the starch back to camp. Eventually, we just managed to pull it off by the time allocated. Time for part 2 of the battle which was to make sure that there was enough starch throughout the night.

During the walk, Sean started up a some fire by the drain to cook water to make more starch. Julee was adamant that we can make the transloosen glue for the night but similar to the events in the afternoon, it just could not be done.

But by God's grace, we kind of produced something out of some weird freak accident that seemed to be worse than the glue that we meant to make in the first place. It was more of an extremely sticky muah chee made of tapioca starch and it totally served the purpose in the camp as many were using it in the camp to create the effect that we wanted.

By the end of the day, I was totally beat but I could see that the whole day could not be possible without God's intervention. God provided us with strength to last the day and the starch from heaven. I could see that God has a plan for the camp. It is not my will but his will be done. The night walk was a great success although from our end, it was a big mess. Things was not organised. We forgot the starch. There was no arrangement for a vehicle to transport the starch but through God's grace. Everything came through.

I'll end this with another famous verse in the bible.

Mar 10:27
Jesus looked at them and replied, “This is impossible for mere humans, but not for God; all things are possible for God.”

P.S By the way, the transloosen glue had to be made by either corn flour or rice flour which none of us bought. We used corn flour and plain bread flour instead. :)

“If the Lord bid me fly, I should trust Him for the wings.” John Wesley

Battlefield 2007- Day 0

Exo 14:15-16 The Lord said to Moses, “Why do you cry out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. And as for you, lift up your staff and extend your hand toward the sea and divide it, so that the Israelites may go through the middle of the sea on dry ground.


Its Day zero of Battlefield 2007. Being in charge of logistics, we had to be at the campsite a day earlier to set up the logistics and take care of the equipment for the night.

We had to take turns in the night staying up to keep guard over the equipment.

To be truthful, that night, I was quite worried over the logistics for the camp as I was unsure whether all the equipment was throughly prepared for the camp and if I had left out anything. I decided to take a short break and left the pavilion to sit by the seaside.

I used to stay at East Coast so I had seen the sea many times. But that night, God reassured me as I took a break by the seaside.

' Son, do you remember Moses?' He split the Red Sea that was much bigger than the one that you see before you now. And all he had to do was to lift his staff and extend his hand over the sea. I did the difficult part. I parted the Red Sea.'

Right then, I knew that I could trust the Lord for everything in the camp when I remember the magnitude of the logistics that Moses had to deal with when he left Egypt.

Moses and the people were in the desert, but what was he going to do with them? They had to be fed, and feeding 2 to 3 million people requires a lot of food.

The people needed 2,000 tons -- four million pounds -- of food each day.

To bring that much food each day, would require three freight trains each a mile long!

In the desert they needed firewood to cook and keep warm. Each day this would take 4,000 tons -- eight million pounds -- of wood and a few more freight trains, each a mile long.

Of course, they needed water. If they only had enough to drink and wash a few dishes, it would take 11 million gallons each day, and a freight train with tank cars 1,800 miles long, just to bring water!

And then another thing: They had to get across the Red Sea in one night. If they went on a narrow path, double file, the line would be 800 miles long and would require 35 days and nights to get through.

So, there had to be an opening in the Red Sea, 3 miles long so that they could walk 5,000 abreast to get over in one night.

Each time they camped at the end of the day, they needed a campground two-thirds the size of the State of Rhode Island, about 750 square miles.

They journeyed in the desert forty years.

Do you think Moses worked all this out before he left Egypt?


The Lord is Jehovah Jireh. Our Great Provider. As he provides for his people that many years ago in the desert, what more will he provide for the camp.

What more will he provide for our lives!

As I stand in awe at the beach, I stand secured in his arms as I know that the Lord is the Great Provider of my life.

“If the Lord bid me fly, I should trust Him for the wings.” John Wesley

Brokenness

Ok, to start Liverpool lost to AC Milan 2-1 last night. Firstly, I would like to thank Gabriel for offering to pray for me last night. Really appreciate it but I understand God's hand in the whole game even in soccer.

To start, for Liverpool to enter the Champion's League Final ahead of Chelsea and Manchester United who finished the league 15 and 21 points respectively ahead of them (ahem) is already God's Grace and I thank him for that.

Secondly, the Lord is showing the team that it is necessary to be humble and be broken in order for greater works to appear in the team. Recently, I have noticed that the team have become arrogant in some aspects of the game and I believe God has to do some surgery in them as well.

This then brings me to ponder upon the issue of brokenness which has been mentioned by PS Khong last Sunday.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." -Psalm 51:17.

Have you been injured in sports before?

Maybe a broken ankle or a dislocated shoulder from tennis?

I know I have injured my ankle many times when I was playing basketball in the past. But if you ask anyone, they would tell you that the worst injuries suffered in sports would be a broken part of the body. In the case of Cisse, it is a broken leg.

Years back, my brother suffered from a broken hand due to soccer when he was in secondary school. My father used to console him that a broken hand when healed will become stronger that what it used to be and this theory has actually been confirmed by doctors in the hospital.

Praise the Lord!

When God breaks you, he makes you stronger through his grace. I remember how I came to know the lord in the army. It was also due to a broken bone in my body, a broken finger to be exact.

Through a broken finger, the Lord took me out of BMT and put me in a situation where I had the time to come to know the lord through the people that he put around me and the opportunity to be a blessing to others in my camp. Through a broken finger, he showed me that I could not just rely on myself to get myself places in the army, not my results or my physical fitness.

When I tried on my own strength to go for my recourse and be a commander during my NS days when I recovered, the lord had to show me again that that was not my purpose in the army by giving me chicken pox during my first book out in my recourse, ( ironically, it was spread to me by my friend whom I brought to
church over the weekend), forcing me to return to Hendon camp to be a storeman for the rest of my army days.

When I came to realize that my results or achievements mean nothing as opposed to the greater designs that God has for my life, I understood that my calling and purpose in life can no longer be fulfiled by just achieving good results. I had to place my life in God's hands and just trust him for my life.I had to accept that God has a plan for me by placing me in the Commando Camp and I thank God for the blessings and I had to be broken not once but twice by God to show me his plan for my NS days.

Have you had a time in your life when you wanted something but the lord gave you something else? Maybe the Lord has something better for you and he just wants you to circumsize your future to him.

I know and I thank the Lord for the time of brokenness that he gave to me during my army days and I know that the continual breaking and repairing of my spiritual bones will make me stronger spiritually just like how a broken bone becomes stronger when healed.

I thank God for breaking me and I pray that the Lord will give you a powerful experience too. Amen.

“If the Lord bid me fly, I should trust Him for the wings.” John Wesley

Obedience and Legalism

Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith apart from the deeds of the law. (Romans 3:28)

Even so faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. (James 2:17)

What is the difference between obeying God and legalism?

Legalism is following the word of God but so is obeying the Lord but why does the Bible always carry a bad annotation to the word legalism?

Reading through Romans today, I came upon the answer to the question.

The difference is in the heart. Obeying the Lord comes from grace. Works done in obedience is an expression of Love to the lord because you have been saved by the grace of God. However, legalism is works done to earn the grace of God.

Sometimes, I feel that I am doing some things out of legalism rather than out of obedience. Why do you spend your weekday nights for youth meetings or weekends for church and meetings? Is it because you have to do it like how Maybelle and Jess feels that if you do not believe in the bible you will go to hell?

Romans 4:4 Now to the one who works, his pay is not credited due to grace but due to obligation. 4:5 But to the one who does not work, but believes in the one who declares the ungodly righteous, his faith is credited as righteousness.

Do you always have to find time in your life for God? Whether is it to do your quiet time early in the morning or finding time to read the bible?

I believe that the key issue is not the reading of the bible in the day or the doing of the quiet time that determines your relationship with God? It is the attitude or the heart that draws you to read the bible or do your quiet time in the morning. Why do you do your reflections or for me, writing this blog in the middle of the night? Sharing my daily thoughts and reflections to people that maybe reading the blog, maybe my friends, my people in the cell?

I'm praying that its coming out of a heart of gratitude for the lord who has saved me through grace and me wanting to share the faith with others that are reading rather than just trying to glorify myself or trying to get into God's good books by earning salvation which is in fact already given to me due to God's grace.

My prayer for the day is that the people of Christ would do good works out of grace that overflows from them rather than being forced to do good works to earn their right to heaven. And that the lord would bless us whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered ; whom the lord will never count against sin.(Romans 4:7-8). Amen.


“If the Lord bid me fly, I should trust Him for the wings.” John Wesley

Bridge to Terabithia

Today, I went to watch this show with my dad at Golden village today expecting it to be another graphic based children story like Chronicles of Narnia. In some aspects, it was similar but largely different.

About the background of the movie:
The show was based on a story written by Katerine Paterson in 1977. Paterson won a Newbery award for the book and there were surprising moments of spiritual dialogue in the film. I looked up her wiki profile, and found that she’s born to missionary parents. And thinking back now, there are much to ponder about regarding the story.

Spoilers Alert:

It’s a story of two young teens, Jess and Leslie, who don’t fit in at school in small town USA. Leslie recently moved in beside Jess and they become friends who imagine an alternative reality called Terabithia in the forest behind their houses. Through the movie, there is a constant conflict between imagination and realism of life.

At one point in the movie, Leslie accompanies Jess and his family to church (she’s never been to church before). After church, the scene is Jess, Leslie, and Jess’ younger sister - Maybelle in the back of a pick-up truck driving home.

Here’s the conversation:

Leslie: I’m really glad I came, that whole Jesus thing, it’s really interesting, isn’t it?

Maybelle: It’s not interesting, it’s scary. It’s nailing holes through your hands because we’re all vile sinners. I made Jesus die.

Leslie: You really think that’s true?

Jess: It’s in the Bible, Leslie.

Leslie: You have to believe it and you hate it. I don’t have to believe it and I think it’s beautiful.

Maybelle: You gotta believe the Bible, Leslie.

Leslie: Why?

Maybelle: Because if you don’t believe in the Bible, God will damn you to hell when you die.

Leslie: Wow Maybelle, where did you hear that?

Maybelle: That’s right, huh Jess? God damns you to hell if you don’t believe in the Bible.

Jess: I think so.

Leslie: Well I don’t think so. I seriously do not think God goes around damning people to hell. He’s too busy running all this (arms wide open, stretched out to the sky).

What do you see in the picture above? Ugliness or Beauty?

Some times I wonder, why do we believe in Jesus? Is it because we fear what after-life has for us, that we will be 'damned' to hell if we do not believe in him?

Just recently, I was chatting to a friend over the phone. He had been a Christian for some time but he had a similar thinking as to Maybelle in the story. He felt that God was 'sadistic' and we had no choice but to believe in him or else we will go to hell. Its either God or Hell. No choice at all.

I remember the first time I came to service when I was in secondary 3. It happened that that day, the sermon was on Revelation. It was of the signs that the world was coming to an end. During that sermon, there was a conflict within me.

The same question kept on popping up in my mind.

Heaven or Hell?

Jesus or Satan?

Redemption or Death?

Not much choice there isn't it. But what if we see the story of Christ from another aspect just like Leslie in the story.

The bible suddenly becomes beautiful or what Christ did for you on the cross and that through his death we have received salvation. Isn't the idea and concept of him sacrificing himself to save you just beautiful. The open mind of Leslie had helped her to see beyond the physical brutality of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. If we see the story from her view, doesn't it just make you want to come to Jesus.

Another key theme in the story is about imagination and realism of life.

Quoted from an interview with the writer Paterson:

There's a trend lately to provide books and films for Christian audiences that are "safe for the whole family." Perhaps your books have been challenged because they're not necessarily "safe" for children. What do you make of the idea that children's books should be "safe"?

Paterson: Well, don't give them the Bible, then, because it's certainly not a safe book. Safety and faith are different things. If you want everything to be safe, then you can probably just totally do without the imagination. If you're so afraid of your imagination that you stifle it, how are you going to know God? How can you imagine heaven?

Maybe in Singapore, this is a question that we all have to ask ourselves. Are we stifling the imagination of children when they are young?

We have been forced to go through an education which is extremely results-orientated with no room for creativity. We experience the realism of life before the beauty of life itself. We see the realism of the crucifixion before the beauty and significance of the crucifixion of Jesus on the cross.


We are safe if we do not trust God for the miracles in our lives. We are safe if we do not take the step of faith. But if we go deep, we will be able to look far with an open mind, we dare to imagine of heaven on earth and that would lead us to dream big.

Think, for a moment, of our Lord’s wounds on the cross. They are beautiful. The crown of thorns on Jesus’ head is beautiful because of why Jesus wore it: he wore it for love; he wore it so that we could be forgiven for the sins we commit in our thoughts. The holes in his hands are beautiful because they bring us forgiveness for the sins we commit with our hands; the holes in his feet are beautiful because they bring us forgiveness for the times we’ve walked willingly into temptation and failed to avoid the near occasion of sin; and the hole in his heart is beautiful because through it we can be forgiven for the many times we’ve put other things before God—for the times, in other words, when we’ve allowed something else or someone else to occupy the first place in our heart.

It’s incredibly beautiful when people like you and me make tough, personal sacrifices for others; but it’s infinitely beautiful when an eternal God sacrifices himself for his imperfect and sinful creatures—as Jesus Christ did for us.- Fr. Ray Suriani

In the movie, Leslie who had come from an unbelieving family saw this beauty beyond both Jess and Maybelle who came from a believing family because she was able to see the story with an open heart and an open mind.

My prayer for the day is that may God help us to do the same and that we will dare to imagine for the greater miracles in our lives. To be able to see the beauty of the life rather then the mundanity of life. To see the beauty of God shining through our lives.

And to conclude: This show is highly recommended. Do place this show in your must-watch shows for the month along with the other blockbusters like Spiderman 3 (highly recommended as well), Pirates of the Caribbean 3 and Shrek 3.


“If the Lord bid me fly, I should trust Him for the wings.” John Wesley

The Rich Man

10:17-27 Now as Jesus was starting out on his way, someone ran up to him, fell on his knees, and said, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.’” The man said to him, “Teacher, I have wholeheartedly obeyed all these laws since my youth.” As Jesus looked at him, he felt love for him and said, “You lack one thing. Go, sell whatever you have and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” But at this statement, the man looked sad and went away sorrowful, for he was very rich.

Then Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” The disciples were astonished at these words. But again Jesus said to them, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” They were even more astonished and said to one another, “Then who can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and replied, “This is impossible for mere humans, but not for God; all things are possible for God.”

How pertinent that my daily bread today was about the story of the rich man and it was just after the talks by Jackie Pullinger over the weekend.

Over the week, Victor asked me for money to help his mother pay her medical bills. I have been thinking about this for quite some time till this weekend when I heard the talk by Jackie Pullinger. She is a very down-to-earth lady who believes in giving generously to people in need even if she may not see the returns, although giving may not be monetary but it means sacrificing something in return such as time, sleep or effort.

During the 2nd lecture on Saturday when she asked if we Christians are just soul-hunters, a chord struck in my heart. I asked myself, am I just after the soul of Victor to bring him to the lord? Or am I truely a friend to him, willing to bless him even if I may not see the returns.

Immediately, I heard the Lord telling me to reply him about lending him the money for his mother's medical bills. I just decided to give even if it was going to inconvenient me and even if it means I'm going to have to save on my meals for the next few days.

But I decided to do it on two conditions:
1: That I was allowed to visit him and his mother and pray for them for healing.
2: That I was allowed to hand the money over to Victor's mother directly.

In the verses above, I felt that the lord really cares for the world.

Firstly, he loves the rich man who wholeheartedly followed the law both inwardly and outwardly as God can see the attitude of the person in following the law.

Secondly, he cares much for the poor. Although the man followed the laws wholeheartedly, he lacked the generousity and heart for the poor. He was unwilling to sell all he has and give to the poor.

When reading through the verses again, I come to think that sometimes as Christians, we talk about serving God, reading the bible and following the law. However, do we love the world?

Joh 3:16

For his is the way God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

God loved the world so much that he gave his son to die for our sins. And Jesus died for the greatest sinners in the world regardless of whether they believed in him or not. It was all the same.

Remember the Balestier Rapist in the newspaper recently?

Yes, Jesus died for his salvation.

Remember Osama bin Laden who caused the 9-11 or even Hitler who started the Halocaust?

Yes, Jesus died for their salvation.

On the other extreme, he died for all the poor people in the world too, just like the homeless children in the papers in Iraq or the beggar on the road without a leg begging for food every morning at your MRT stations.

Yes, Jesus died for their salvation.

We, as Christians, are told to be imitators of Christ. We do not have to die for them as it was done when Jesus died on the cross. But do we have a heart for all these people? Do we turn away when we see someone coming up to you for donations?

But lord, we do not know if the money will go to the children or will it end up like another NKF.

But lord, someone else will help them.

But lord, I am not self-sufficent.

My prayer for today is that we will stop looking for excuses to turn away from the poor and needy but do our best to bless them either monetary or even by giving a simple prayer to the beggar that you see on the road. Lord, I pray that you would soften the hearts of our people so that we will always remember the poor and not be indifferent to them.

Lord, although Victor have not replied me regarding the message yet. I pray that he would understand that no matter what, I would try within my means to help him even if it means just praying for him. I pray for your grace over your people to always have a heart for the poor in the world. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

“If the Lord bid me fly, I should trust Him for the wings.” John Wesley

Forgive me Father, for iSinned

Posted on: May 10, 2007

The iRosary is a pretty cool concept that helps make the rosary more attractive and flexible to younger believers who own an iPod. This is made possible by using the iPod's famous white earphones cable which comes with a single bead that can be shifted. The position of the bead can be measured and heard as audio beads along the sensitive range of the cable. Thus the iRosary will be able to help young uns learn the prayer, with appropriate mysteries inserted automatically in between. Heck, you can even choose the level of difficulty, depending on where you are now in your spiritual life.

Source:http://www.ubergizmo.com/15/archives/2007/05/forgive_me_father_for_isinned.html

Just wanna share this in the morning.

Family

Today, we were supposed to have a Mother's Day celebration at about 7pm in the night with my brother and my sis-in-law.

Before I left the house, there was an email by my spiritual dad, Chris, about the family appreciation dinner last night which I did not go to as the Mother's day celebration dinner was actually supposed to be held last night but was postponed as my brother had to prepare for in-camp this morning.

In the email, I was particularly touched by this particular verse again.

"See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the LORD comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse." ~ Malachi 4

Just before we left the house, my mum took quite a long time preparing herself as she thought that we would be going to a big restaurant for dinner tonight. However, we were rushing for time as we were supposed to meet my sis-in-law, Serene, at Eunos Mrt at 7 and it was getting late. On top of that, my sister had to prepare for her physics test tomorrow and she wanted to just get the dinner over and done with and was rather harsh to my mum in some instances.

The whole atmosphere became quite bad when my mum realised that we were only going to have a simple dinner at the food court as Serene had to pass a rabbit to her spiritual daughter. My mum was quite unhappy with the arrangement at first but it became better as I talked to her in the mrt to my brother's place. Thank God for that.

On the way there, I received an sms that my brother had actually booked out of camp and would join us for the dinner. I was quite surprised at that as he was supposed to be in-camp and was not supposed to be out till 2 weeks time but praise the lord for arranging him to be with us tonight to celebrate mother's day.

When we finally arrived at Eunos mrt, I was already 7.20pm and we just had to wait for a while for Serene to hand the rabbit over to her spiritual daughter. After that, we took a cab over to Black Canyon Cafe next to Tanjong Katong Shopping Centre to have a Thai Mother's Day dinner. The food there was good and quite reasonably priced at around $50 for 5 dishes and rice.

I enjoyed the time with my family there and I had a good time talking to my mum.
She was having some worries that she could not handle her job at a printing company next Monday as she is computer illiterate but I know the our Lord is a good and faithful God and he would guide her through her week in her new job.

What initially felt like it was going to be a bad evening eventually turned out to be a great time and a good Mother's Day where we reflect and appreciate my mum for what she has done for us in our lives. I will not be who I am now if not for my family at home and my spiritual family at church.

Right now, my sister is still struggling with her work and her studies as the dinner dragged till about 9 and her work in JC is totally draining her. But I just know that God will guide her through the day tomorrow and grant her the wisdom and strength to get good results in her Physics test and her project work as our Lord is a faithful God.

I pray that the lord will continue to show himself in our family and reconcile the family through him and him alone. I know that by this time next year, my family would be able to sit down on the table together and say grace before having a simple dinner.

A simple vision that only God can fulfill. Amen.

“If the Lord bid me fly, I should trust Him for the wings.” John Wesley

Broken Promises

Psa 18:30
The one true God acts in a faithful manner; the Lord’s promise is reliable; he is a shield to all who take shelter in him.

The last 2 days, victor have been messaging me saying that he wanted to leave the church due to conflicts between him and someone in the church. Also, there had been many misunderstandings and problems between him and some people in the church as well.

One of the issues that he raised was that a promise made to him by someone in the church that he felt was important was not fulfilled.

I do not know the details and will not attempt to pass any form of remark or judgement for it may not be the truth.

I'm not sure whether I should be blogging about this and I'll just pray that my words here will be guided by the holy spirit and do not seem hurtful to anyone that may be reading my blog.

Psa24:3-24:6
Who is allowed to ascend the mountain of the Lord?
Who may go up to his holy dwelling place?
The one whose deeds are blameless
and whose motives are pure,
who does not lie,
or make promises with no intention of keeping them.
Such godly people are rewarded by the Lord,
and vindicated by the God who delivers them.
Such purity characterizes the people who seek his favor,
Jacob’s descendants, who pray to him.

Our God is a God that honour promises. Not a single promise that he had made to Israel or to Moses was left unfulfilled and the verse above repeats that we as Christians should not make promises with no intention of keeping them and we should try our very best to honour every promise that we make to people and to God.

Definately, we are not God. We are only human that are prone to errors with limited time and limited capabilities and God knows about it.

I'm sure that at some point in your life, some one have disappointed you or betrayed your trust by not fulfilling his promise to you. It could be missing a dinner appointment or failing to produce a report that he promised to do.

The issue here I hope to address is not about how to honour your promises to God and people around you but how to make sure that you do not make empty promises to people.

I for one understands that when a promise held strongly by a person is unfulfilled, it could easily lead to conflict or resentment due to a sense of betrayal and lost hope. I am trying my best not to make commitments that I may be unable or unwilling to carry out. Instead of saying I will do it or I "promise", I do not wish to hurt people by saying something that I do not mean from the bottom of my heart or I may not fulfill due to constrains in time or capability.

I know that I do not have the capability or the heart for people around me now to make many promises that I know that I can and will keep. But I pray that God will soften my heart for the people around me to care for them and to value their needs more than mine.

Just now, Victor messaged me again and said again that he would like to leave the church. I just pray that God will guide him in the right path that he has meant for him and that as much as I would like him to join our church, I believe that there are some issues that he has to resolve at his old church. Whether or not he eventually becomes my spiritual brother in the church is of secondory importance as long as he finds himself closer to the lord.

It is often not of our will and ways but of God's will and timing to bring someone closer to them. All we can do as Christians is to be living testimonies of God in our lives and in other people's lives.

The rest is up to God.

Put on the helmet of salvation.
We have hope in our lives.
We have a destiny to fulfill for the Lord.
We are overcomers.

Size of Faith

And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, worth less than a penny. He called his disciples and said to them, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the offering box than all the others. For they all gave out of their wealth. But she, out of her poverty, put in what she had to live on, everything she had.” -Mark12:42-44

I came across this verse in my quiet time this morning and it really hit me once again that what this verse was really talking about was not the amount of money that you give but rather the amount of faith you have when you give.

When the poor widow gave, she must have struggled within her as the money she gave could have feed her for a meal but she gave out of faith. She believed that the lord would bless her with more in her life as she gave out all she had to the lord.

Giving out of poverty and not of wealth, isn't this a great show of faith to the lord?

The Lord wants us to sarcrifice the most important object that you so hold dearly to your heart before you can draw closer to him, and he closer to you. Only then can his blessings for you come through.

Another story to share:

As a young man preparing to go to China, Hudson Taylor determined to learn to live by faith alone while he was still in England. His resolve was “to learn before leaving England to move man through God by prayer alone.” He worked for a doctor and was paid quarterly. When the time drew near to receive his salary, Taylor was disturbed that his employer said nothing about it. Taylor had only one half-crown piece, but he determined not to break his resolution and ask for his salary.
While visiting a needy home on the Lord’s Day, Taylor felt led of God to give his last coin to the needy family. The next day he received an anonymous gift through the mail, four times what he had given to the poor! The following Saturday, the doctor finished up his work and said, “Taylor, is not your salary due again?” Taylor told him that it was and became disappointed when he learned that the doctor had forgotten about the salary due and sent all his funds to the bank! He prayed about the matter (for he had bills of his own to pay) and left it with the Lord.
That evening, the doctor visited him and said that one of his richest patients had come over after hours to pay his bill! He gave the money to Taylor, who rejoiced. He had learned he could trust God and therefore go to China as a missionary.
Wycliffe Handbook of Preaching & Preachers, W. Wiersbe, p. 240

I have just received my pay this week but I'm a little tight as I was in the hospital for quite long last month and did not work much so my pay for this month is low but I will still set apart some money for my family and for my monthly tithing. I pray that the lord would also show me people to bless even with just $400 as I know and place my trust in him to provide for me.

I'll just end this with a famous phrase.

“If the Lord bid me fly, I should trust Him for the wings.” John Wesley

Perserverance of Faith

Matt 6:25-34“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t there more to life than food and more to the body than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky: They do not sow, or reap, or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you more valuable than they are? And which of you by worrying can add even one hour to his life? Why do you worry about clothing? Think about how the flowers of the field grow; they do not work or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his glory was clothed like one of these! And if this is how God clothes the wild grass, which is here today and tomorrow is tossed into the fire to heat the oven, won’t he clothe you even more, you people of little faith? So then, don’t worry saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For the unconverted pursue these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But above all pursue his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. So then, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.

Last Sunday, P.S Eugene repeats this famous part of the bible before the sermon by P.S Khong. I believe that many have heard of this or some version of this part of the bible even if they are non-believers.

But as believers, do you have faith that God will grant you your needs if you seek his kingdom and righteousness first or do you just say it but do not complement it in action?

Just to share with you: Initially, when I just became a Christian a few months back, I was also skeptical about this. I had my own reservations about tithing and giving to the lord. I felt that my family ( or I myself) needed the money for our own daily expenditure. Even when I received my 1st pay-check of about $800, I did not consider tithing 10% of the money to the lord but only wanted to tithe what I thought was reasonable.

The time, my dad had some problems with his business and had just started being a property agent and business was not really looking good at that time.

One night, when I was coming back from a dinner with my friends, I walked past an AXN machine next to the 7-11 below my place. God just spoke to me to tithe 10% of my salary to the lord and my father's business would improve. Immediately, I decided to just tithe to him using the AXN machine.

When I reached home, I received news that my dad had closed a room! Hallejuleh!

This continued for a few days and I praised the lord for blessing us in the family.

However, my dad credited the deals to his own capabilities rather than to the Lord's help in the family. I was sad but I never stopped tithing or praying that my dad would understand the glory and grace of the lord in our family.

For the next 2 months, we had a little problem financially as my dad had difficulty closing rooms. He learnt that it was less of his capability but more of luck (God's grace as I see it) that he could close the rooms. Nevertheless, I believed that the lord will bless us as he is a faithful God.

Just this month, prayers were answered. My dad had more opportunities in his security businesses and things were looking brighter in the family financially.

Yesterday, when I reached home, my dad thanked God for helping him financially for the 1st time. I was shocked. When I talked to him, I realised that he was busy with some security business in the morning, yet he was able to close 2 rooms in the night for $900. He finally starts to realise that it was God that was helping him all along.

I believe that our God is faithful to his word. But we must be patient to wait for his timing and not ours. Even when we face difficulty in life, we must have faith that God will come true at the end if we seek his kingdom and righteousness first. Below is a story to share.

Who was United States Senator Edmund G. Ross of Kansas? I suppose you could call him a “Mr. Nobody.” No law bears his name. Not a single list of Senate “greats” mentions his service. Yet when Ross entered the Senate in 1866, he was considered the man to watch. He seemed destined to surpass his colleagues, but he tossed it all away by one courageous act of conscience. Let’s set the stage.
Conflict was dividing our government in the wake of the Civil War. President Andrew Johnson was determined to follow Lincoln’s policy of reconciliation toward the defeated South. Congress, however, wanted to rule the downtrodden Confederate states with an iron hand.
Congress decided to strike first. Shortly after Senator Ross was seated, the Senate introduced impeachment proceedings against the hated President. The radicals calculated that they needed thirty-six votes, and smiled as they concluded that the thirty-sixth was none other than Ross.’ The new senator listened to the vigilante talk. But to the surprise of many, he declared that the president “deserved as fair a trial as any accused man has ever had on earth.” The word immediately went out that his vote was “shaky.”
Ross received an avalanche of anti-Johnson telegrams from every section of the country. Radical senators badgered him to “come to his senses.”
The fateful day of the vote arrived. The courtroom galleries were packed. Tickets for admission were at an enormous premium.
As a deathlike stillness fell over the Senate chamber, the vote began. By the time they reached Ross, twenty-four “guilties” had been announced. Eleven more were certain. Only Ross’ vote was needed to impeach the President. Unable to conceal his emotion, the Chief Justice asked in a trembling voice, “Mr. Senator Ross, how vote you? Is the respondent Andrew Johnson guilty as charged?”
Ross later explained, at that moment, “I looked into my open grave. Friendships, position, fortune, and everything that makes life desirable to an ambitions man were about to be swept away by the breath of my mouth, perhaps forever.”
Then, the answer came -- unhesitating, unmistakable: “Not guilty!” With that, the trial was over. And the response was as predicted. A high public official from Kansas wired Ross to say: “Kansas repudiates you as she does all perjurers and skunks.”
The “open grave” vision had become a reality. Ross’ political career was in ruins. Extreme ostracism, and even physical attack awaited his family upon their return home.
One gloomy day Ross turned to his faithful wife and said, “Millions cursing me today will bless me tomorrow…though not but God can know the struggle it has cost me.” It was a prophetic declaration.
Twenty years later Congress and the Supreme Court verified the wisdom of his position, by changing the laws related to impeachment. Ross was appointed Territorial Governor of New Mexico. Then, just prior to his death, he was awarded a special pension by Congress. The press and country took this opportunity to honor his courage which, they finally concluded, had saved our country from crisis and division.
Courage - You Can Stand Strong in the Face of Fear, Jon Johnston, 1990, SP Publications, pp.56-58

What struck me the most about the story is that the rewards for his faith was not regonised till 20 years later.

Do not worry. Seek to please the lord 1st and then faithfully believe that he will provide.

Hebrews 11:1. “What is faith, unless it is to believe what you cannot see.”

I pray for those whose prayers may not be answered to continue preservering in your faith and do not give up and wait for his appointed time.

Our Lord is a faithful God. Amen.

Go Deep

Look Far

Dream Big

Walking in Faith

I would like to share with all of you a story to start the day.

The Law of the Pedulum

In college I was asked to prepare a lesson to teach my speech class. We were to be graded on our creativity and ability to drive home a point in a memorable way. The title of my talk was, “The Law of the Pendulum.” I spent 20 minutes carefully teaching the physical principle that governs a swinging pendulum.
The law of the pendulum is: A pendulum can never return to a point higher than the point from which it was released. Because of friction and gravity, when the pendulum returns, it will fall short of its original release point. Each time it swings it makes less and less of an arc, until finally it is at rest. This point of rest is called the state of equilibrium, where all forces acting on the pendulum are equal.
I attached a 3-foot string to a child’s toy top and secured it to the top of the blackboard with a thumbtack. I pulled the top to one side and made a mark on the blackboard where I let it go. Each time it swung back I made a new mark. It took less than a minute for the top to complete its swinging and come to rest. When I finished the demonstration, the markings on the blackboard proved my thesis.
I then asked how many people in the room BELIEVED the law of the pendulum was true. All of my classmates raised their hands, so did the teacher. He started to walk to the front of the room thinking the class was over. In reality it had just begun.
Hanging from the steel ceiling beams in the middle of the room was a large, crude but functional pendulum (250 pounds of metal weights tied to four strands of 500-pound test parachute cord.).
I invited the instructor to climb up on a table and sit in a chair with the back of his head against a cement wall. Then I brought the 250 pounds of metal up to his nose. Holding the huge pendulum just a fraction of an inch from his face, I once again explained the law of the pendulum he had applauded only moments before, “If the law of the pendulum is true, then when I release this mass of metal, it will swing across the room and return short of the release point. Your nose will be in no danger.”
After that final restatement of this law, I looked him in the eye and asked, “Sir, do you believe this law is true?”
There was a long pause. Huge beads of sweat formed on his upper lip and then weakly he nodded and whispered, “Yes.”
I released the pendulum. It made a swishing sound as it arced across the room. At the far end of its swing, it paused momentarily and started back. I never saw a man move so fast in my life. He literally dived from the table.
Deftly stepping around the still-swinging pendulum, I asked the class, “Does he believe in the law of the pendulum?”
The students unanimously answered, “NO!”

Ken Davis, How To Speak To Youth, pp. 104-106

Does this sound similar to our faith in the Lord?

Every Sunday, we go down the church proclaiming that the Lord is alive, singing songs of worship. However, when we leave the church, we do not act as if the Lord is alive in us and in our lives.

What is Faith?

After hearing the sermon by P.S Khong yesterday, I was convinced more that works and faith goes hand in hand. With faith, nothing is impossible.

Works without Faith is dead but Faith without works is dead Faith.

I truely believe that by his stripes I will be healed and I believe that the miracle sunday on Easter have healed my sickness. I believe that the root problem have been cured. I do not just believe in it, I know I have been healed. (This does not mean I will stop taking my medicine, I would still have to raise my iron levels although my root problem is healed).

Yesterday, I came down to the altar again to ask for healing. This time round, it was for my bowel problems that have been plagueing me for quite some time. Due to digestive problems, I would have diahorrea every morning without fail and this have been sapping my energy and giving me lots of problems. Just to testify, I did not have diahorrea this morning and the cramps have stopped. Thank the lord for his healing.

A miracle, derived from the old Latin word miraculum meaning "something wonderful", is a striking interposition of divine intervention by a god in the universe by which the ordinary course and operation of Nature is overruled, suspended, or modified. - Wikipedia.

I know many people who come to churches just wanting to see miracles, see people stand up and walk. They want to see things happen supernaturally. Maybe a flying pastor, or the Lord appearing on the stage as the guest speaker for the day. Only then will they CONSIDER believing in God.

But truely, I believe that faith is the belief in God and acting because of that belief rather than seeing then "believing".

The Christian walk is a walk by faith and not by sight. The best miracle that people can see is not the miracles that happen for other people but miracles that happen for your own lives.

Will you stand up in faith and claim the miracles that God have prepared for your life and not just being contented to see miracles in other people's lives?

Stand firmly in the ship manned by the Lord and do not continue to try to row our own sampans full of holes.

Only then can we dare to look beyond the horizons and dream to reach the shores that the Lord have prepared for us.

Go Deep
Look Far
Dream Big

Weapon of Praise

On Easter Sunday, I brought my friend Victor down to the alter and prayed for both my healing and his healing. And the Lord have indeed answered to us in a positive manner. My blood count have gone up (though my stomach is still giving me problems) and Victor, though have not told me about the actually results of his test but have been showing signs of recovery. Iwould start by 1st giving thanks to God and to the people who have supported me all along.


1stly, Thank God that my haemoglobin counts have gone up from 8.7 to about 9.6 and I pray that he would continue to heal me in this area. Thank him for bringing Victor down for service on Sunday and for bringing him back you as he rededicated his life to the Lord again.

2ndly, I would also like to thank my spiritual family for keeping me in prayers and for taking time off their busty schedule to visit me. I would like to give thanks to my biological family for the financial support and the concern they have shown me. I would also like to thank my colleagues at Starhub for taking time off to visit me and showing concern for me when I was not feeling too well the last few days. Really appreciate it guys.

(Psalm 9:1-3) "I will praise thee, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works. I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name. O thou most High. When mine enemies are turned back, they shall fall and perish at thy presence."

I read this verse along with my daily bread this morning and I just felt touched by the message today. I then decided to read up more about the power of praise. I stumbled upon this story in the bible about the lord giving Jehoshaphat military success.

2 Chronicles 20:1-22 Later the Moabites and Ammonites, along with some of the Meunites, attacked Jehoshaphat. Messengers arrived and reported to Jehoshaphat, “A huge army is attacking you from the other side of the Dead Sea, from the direction of Edom. Look, they are in Hazezon Tamar (that is, En Gedi).” Jehoshaphat was afraid, so he decided to seek the Lord’s advice. He decreed that all Judah should observe a fast. The people of Judah Lord’s help; they came from all the cities of Judah to ask for the Lord’s help. assembled to ask for the

Jehoshaphat stood before the assembly of Judah and Jerusalem at the Lord’s temple, in front of the new courtyard. He prayed: “O Lord God of our ancestors, you are the God who lives in heaven and rules over all the kingdoms of the nations. You possess strength and power; no one can stand against you. Our God, you drove out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel and gave it as a permanent possession to the descendants of your friend Abraham. They settled down in it and built in it a temple to honor you, ‘If disaster comes on us in the form of military attack, judgment, plague, or famine, we will stand in front of this temple before you, for you are present in this temple. We will cry out to you for help in our distress, so that you will hear and deliver us.’ Now the Ammonites, Moabites, and men from Mount Seir are coming! When Israel came from the land of Egypt, you did not allow them to invade these lands. They bypassed them and did not destroy them. Look how they are repaying us! They come to drive us out of our allotted land which you assigned to us! Our God, will you not judge them? For we are powerless against this huge army that attacks us! We don’t know what we should do; we look to you for help.” saying,

All the men of Judah were standing before the Lord, along with their infants, wives, and children. Then in the midst of the assembly, the Lord’s Spirit came upon Jachaziel son of Zechariah, son of Benaiah, son of Jeiel, son of Mattaniah, a Levite and descendant of Asaph. He said: “Pay attention, all you people of Judah, residents of Jerusalem, and King Jehoshaphat! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Don’t be afraid and don’t panic because of this huge army! For the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow march down against them as they come up the Ascent of Ziz. You will find them at the end of the ravine in front of the Desert of Jeruel. You will not fight in this battle. Take your positions, stand, and watch the Lord deliver you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Don’t be afraid and don’t panic! Tomorrow march out toward them; the Lord is with you!’”

Jehoshaphat bowed down with his face toward the ground, and all the people of Judah Lord and worshiped him. Then some Levites, from the Kohathites and Korahites, got up and loudly praised the Lord God of Israel. and the residents of Jerusalem fell down before the

Early the next morning they marched out to the Desert of Tekoa. When they were ready to march, Jehoshaphat stood up and said: “Listen to me, you people of Judah and residents of Jerusalem! Trust in the Lord your God and you will be safe! Trust in the message of his prophets and you will win.”He met with the people and appointed musicians to play before the Lord and praise his majestic splendor. As they marched ahead of the warriors they said: “Give thanks to the Lord, for his loyal love endures.”

When they began to shout and praise, the Lord suddenly attacked the Ammonites, Moabites, and men from Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated.

Our church for the past few weeks have been talking about being victors and warriors of the light and using the full armour of God to achieve the aims. I believe that another weapon that we can use is the weapon of praise.

I was not really feeling well and was suffering from periods of fatigue due to my sickness a while back. To be honest, I did not really had the strength or the motivation to seek the lord during these times. So as I read the story during my quiet time, I felt the Holy Spirit talking to me. Telling me to draw closer to the lord even in times of distress or even when I was not feeling well and experiencing fatigue.

In the daily bread that I read in the morning, Pastor Gloria Copeland was suffering from fatigue due to ministering long hours. She did not even have the energy to close the service after the meeting. Her solution to the problem was to praise the lord with her whole heart, mind and body. The tiredness left her and she was energised by the presence of God.

Similarly in the verses, when the people of Judah faced an adversary that they could not overcome, they turned to the Lord and started praising him.

They could have always ran away or submit to their fates.

They could have tried preparing by stocking on weapons or even spending time with their loved ones.

Instead, they praised the Lord as they knew the blessings that the Lord had for them that the people of Judah had inherited through Abraham. And the Lord came and struck down their adversaries for them.

From this day onwards, whenever I am feeling sick or tired, I pray that I would always be reminded to seek the Lord and praise him for he had taken away all our sicknesses and diseases by his stripes.

I also pray that when Guowei and Huiman are feeling tired and lethegic from the training in Pulau Tekong, they would also be reminded that the Lord have given us a weapon of praise to combat the aches and fatigue from training.

Sit Tight
Walk Right
Stand Up and Fight

Good Friday

The Way of the Cross

Some of us stay at the cross,
Some of us wait at the tomb,
Quickened and raised with Christ
Yet lingering still in the gloom.

Some of us ‘bide at the Passover feast
With Pentecost all unknown,
The triumphs of grace in the heavenly place
That our Lord has made His own.

If the Christ who died had stopped at the cross,
His work had been incomplete.
If the Christ who was buried had stayed in the tomb,
He had only known defeat,

But the way of the cross never stops at the cross
And the way of the tomb leads on
To victorious grace in the heavenly place
Where the risen Lord has gone.

Annie Johnson Flint

First of all, I apologise again for the late message, been in and out of the hospital for checkups regarding my anemia for the past few weeks. Been struggling with this sickness of mine for 2 whole years, till date have not really found a real reason behind the problem but I will continue to have faith in God and be patient with him as I believe that although physical healing is important, but I believe that the healing of the mind and spirit is of greater priority to him.

Thinking back, it was on the Good Friday 2 years ago where I decided to raise up my hands at TCT at Bukit Merah during the Good Friday Program to receive the Lord. Since then, I have faced many problems in my NS life, with my superiors, with my health, with my family and I had to change houses due to financial issues in the family. To say the truth, I really struggled with the problems I had at that time. At that period, I always told myself that it was a test that the Lord was putting me through to test my character and he was showing me that there are some things in life that cannot be controlled by my own free will. No matter how well I perform at work or in school, no matter how hard I worked to maintain my health, there are things in life that are planned by God that may not go your way and I have learnt to accept that during my ordeal during that period but I think I would share a bit about my own testimony in posts to come.

Now, I'll just focus on today itself.

Today, I went down to my spiritual father, Chris's, place to celebrate Good Friday.

Firstly, we started of with some icebreaker games to get to know each other better. I have to thank Nat ( not sure whether its the correct way to spell it), Annabelle and Leonard for the preparations.

After that, we watched a japanese movie called " Jesus is my Boss".

The show was about the true life story of a man called Hiroyuki Suzuki.

About Hiroyuki Suzuki:

Born in Osaka, Japan in 1955, Suzuki became a member of the Yakuza, Japan's organized crime groups, at the age of 17. With the tattoos of carps and mythical beasts all over his upper body and conspicuously missing pinkie fingers, he was involved in hoodlumism for the better part of two decades.

In 1989, a potentially fatal error led him to flee for his life from more than 5,000 Yakuza members, including his fellow brothers. He was in constant fear of being killed, and living as a fugitive completely wore him out. In the following year, with the support of his Korean wife's prayers, he repented to God and joined a church in Tokyo.

In 1992, Suzuki along with a handful of peer Yakuza converts led a six-month evangelical march throughout Japan, lugging a huge wooden cross. Similar walking tours took place in South Korea and Hawaii, which eventually developed into Mission Barabbas, a missionary group organized by Suzuki and other Yakuza converts.

Suzuki gained enough attention to earn a speaking engagement at the President's Prayer Breakfast at the White House in 1998, along with President Bill Clinton and the Rev. Billy Graham, which generated extensive media coverage internationally.

The 49-year-old convert is currently a pastor of the Siloam Christ Church in Chiba, Japan, and continues to deliver his life story and the Gospel of Jesus to various non-Christian and charity groups all over the globe.

Suzuki has authored memoirs and self-help publications in Japan, including "Anyone Can Start Over" (Asuka-Shinsha, 2001), "Beloved, Forgiven" (Raiin Shuppan, 2000), "The Tattooed Christian" (Waseda Shuppan, 1998), and "How To Start Over From Living Below The Breadline: A Memoir by the Tattooed Pastor" (Kodansha, 2002).

What was also added in the movie was about the reconcilation of the family between him and his wife at the end and the people he touched not because of what he has done but what God has done to turn his life 360 degrees around.

After the show, I heard 2 testimonies about my brother Saysern and Annabelle on similar works of God in their lives.

As I heard the testimonies, I began to ponder about my personal issues too. I believe that God is in fact changing my life slowly. I never really had a great relationship with my parents and my siblings in my life. My dad and mum were always at loggerheads at each other regarding lifestyle differences and financial issues. They always used the children as a reason why they do not divorce. Initially, I was sad and angry at such remarks when I was younger. But as time pass, I grew numb and emotionless to such remarks and my parents. Like what Annabelle mentioned, the worst thing that can happen to a person is the numbing of the emotions. After the encounter weekend, I pray that my heart will never be hardened like that again that I no longer feel any emotions to people around me or worse, to myself.

During that period when I was growing up as a teenager, I always felt resentment towards my brother for not really being there for me when I needed a listening ear in the family as my sister was too young and my parents were juist impossible to talk to (I'm sure some of you think the same way too). I never really had a great relationship with my brother as I felt that he was too distant, busy with his church (another reason why I did not join the church earlier), always taking care of his cell members before the family. Basically, he was never there when I needed him the most till the point that I just treated him to be non-exsistent in the family. There was this sense of jealousy as well as my mum would compare me with my brother with him always being superior in results and in physical fitness ( I used to be overweight and would pant after running 400m). So even now, I do not want my sister to go through the same situation I did ( I hope not as now she has her spiritual family behind her) and I always try my best to just be there for her when she needs me the most.

But I sense that God is slowly showing me the reconcilation of the family through him. My relationship with my brother is improving as now I am spending more time with him and I'm starting to understand more about the reponsibilities and problems he too was facing at that time as I juggle with work, my personal hobbies, church, family, my health and soon to come, studies in the NUS. But God has been good and I can see my relationship with my brother improving by the day.

For my parents, I no longer feel resentment towards them but rather I start to appreciate them more in my life and my parents seldom quarrel with each other anymore. In a way, there is more peace and quiet in the family but in another aspect, I fear it is the numbing of the emotions for each other after so many years of quarrelling. But I'll continue to pray and hope that God will do miricles in theirs lives just like what he did for the yazuka and his wife in the movie.

As I close my post for the day, I pray that every Good Friday I will be remembered of what God did on the cross for me and that he keeps my heart soft and never allow them to harden and be emotionless to the people around me again.

Eph 6:10-20 Finally, be strengthened in the Lord and in the strength of his power. Clothe yourselves with the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual force of evil in the heavens. For this reason, take up the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand your ground on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand. Stand firm therefore, by fastening the belt of truth around your waist, by putting on the breastplate of righteousness, by fitting your feet with the preparation that comes from the good news of peace, and in all of this, by taking up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation and the swordof the Spirit, which is the word of God. With every prayer and petition, pray at all times in the Spirit, and to this end be alert, with all perseverance and requests for all the saints. Pray for me also, that I may be given the message when I begin to speak – that I may confidently make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may be able to speak boldly as I ought to speak.